For many people, you want your partner to make love to you. Give you a sexual gesture in the morning; send you flowers in the office; prepare you a hot bath adorned with essential oils and rose petals, anything that will make you feel loved and appreciated. Such gestures make sex come so naturally and feel special. And at those moments, it’s not just the physical pleasure you experience, your hearts pound and your souls reach out to each other. Every thrust connects you even more, and orgasms come together as a symphony of love dedicated to the gods. This is what tantric sex is all about.
Yet, for most people, sex is more physical than emotional. Even in the most heated and passionate relationships, you won’t be surprised to find that one partner desires more romance and tenderness sometimes during sex. Slowing down can give you the needed opportunity to have a deeper sexual connection with your partner. Simply put, Tantric sex involves slowing down your sex play, allowing both of you to enjoy and have a deeper exploration of each other before getting to the main event. Completely opposite to a quickie, tantric sex lets you enjoy the build-up of foreplay, sometimes even for hours to increase intimacy; thus, achieving more powerful and tranquil orgasms.
Tantric, also known as Tantra sex, is an ancient Hindu practice meaning “weaving and energy expansion”. It is demonstrated through slow sex meant to increase couples' intimacy and create a mind-body connection giving your natural powerful orgasms.
In practice, tantra is enlightenment. It is designed to connect you and your partner in a spiritual and sexual plane by engaging you in spontaneous, meditative and intimate sex. Practiced alone, Tantra is meant to synch you with your body, helping you to pay attention to what gives it pleasure.
When with a partner, tantra allows you to have a mind-body consciousness, aware of your partner’s physical and spiritual presence that completes a circuit of energy sharing. It allows you to have a deeper and wider exploration of each other’s bodies, which expands your sexual personalities and openness to each other. It lets you know each other inside out.
Wanting to practice tantra sex? First, be sure to talk it out with your partner. This is important because tantra engages both your spiritual and physical consciousness. So, your partner should be aware of the new creative ideas you want to incorporate into your sex life and what exactly they should expect from the experience and consent to participate. Once that is out of your way, you can now prep for a moment of dazing romance.
You want to create an ambiance that is sexy and arousing whether you are playing alone or with a partner. Make your room or venue as romantic as possible. This can be anything from just changing the bedsheets to include candles, soft music, flower petals, scents, and extra feather pillows. What is important is that the moment feels sexy, right and special. You want to create a sense that makes sex feel distinctly special and intimate in every way.
Tantra is a whole-body connecting act that is meant to bring together your body, mind, and soul, just like yoga. As such, it is centered on breathing and meditation. Start by inhaling through your nose and fill your belly with air. You should feel your belly expand. Hold the breath in for a few seconds and exhale slowly. As you exhale, you should feel your stomach return to normal and a relaxing feeling on your torso and mind.
Repeat this breathing technique several times before you get into the actual sex. In each breath, visualize the air passing through your pelvic, knees, feet and out through the floor. This makes the breathing automatic and natural during your sexual intercourse.
Eye contact with your partner is extremely important not only to bring both of you closer together emotionally but also to create a physical attraction that builds into more intimate sex. Traditionally, eye contact involves looking into each other’s eyes. You can achieve this by either laying down or sitting facing each other. But, you can also incorporate mirrorsto admire each other fully, whichever is most comfortable for you.
At this point, being naked is your choice but for a sex scene, it can be quite interesting. Here, you are free to play around with your body and that of your partner. But remember to keep it very low and tranquil. You can start by giving each other erotic massages. It is recommended to switch between giving and receiving the massage to make the pleasure mutual. For example, you can ask your partner to give you a back massage for three minutes and you will alternate with whatever massage your partner wishes or craves for 3 minutes.
During this time, make sure to give each other feedback and be open about the experience (for example, “a little pressure”, “tenderer”, etc). This intentional love-making allows you to learn more about your partner’s pleasure points and body responses, making you a better lover.
For solo play, you will enjoy a full-body self-massage experience. Get your favorite massage oil and apply it all over your body. Now rub it in slow motions, spending time massaging your inner thighs, chest, arms, neck, belly, and groin. Feel your body relaxing and arousing in your own hands.
At this point, achieving orgasm is not the goal. Instead, take time to explore your genitals, learn how they respond to pleasure. Touch yourself in new erotic ways.
When with your partner, you can involve blowjobs, and other sex toys that are meant to heighten your senses without achieving you an orgasm. Involve anal fingering or use small put plugs to give you multiple pleasures. Lick and caress each other. You might also want to include soft bondage items such as feather ticklers, blinders, handcuffs and more to heighten your sexual senses and experience pleasure in a different. Soften how you play. Slow down on the strokes and reduce the penetration to ensure orgasmic build-up.
As you play, pay attention to the movements of your bodies. Be in the moment and focus on what you are experiencing as your partner plays with your body. This allows you to let go of thinking and synch your brain with your physical body. It’s a great way to ensure you enjoy every single stroke and spine-cracking pleasure before orgasm.
Yab Yum is the traditional tantric position meant to align your energies for a powerful sexual connection. Let your partner sit on the bed with their legs crossing. Facing them, sit on their penis or double dildo with your legs crossed around their body. But you are not limited, be free to use any position that is most comfortable for as long as you keep it slow, sexy and tantric.
While this might be a technique you need to learn, delayed orgasm intensifies the sexual experience and builds-up into those earth-shattering orgasms you have been craving. To delay an orgasm means you bring yourselves as close to full orgasm as possible and then pulling back, and starting all over again. It gives you heightened arousal for a longer period, helping you to enjoy intercourse longer and eventually surrendering you to the earth-shattering orgasms.
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