Marriage is generally a beautiful thing, just like life. Like life still, some find it easy and others find it hard. Some start off comfortable and happy but the wind of change blows against them subsequently, while others start off pretty rough but suddenly everything starts turning around in their favor.
We are not here for marriage counselling, the thing is, what is sex really like after marriage? There is no straightforward description of what married sex is like or turns out to be. The reason is that, for some people, their sexual life begins after marriage and for others it stops after the honeymoon. It all depends on the individuals involved as well as the environment, cultural and sexual orientation of the couple.
Although there is no straightjacket description, something has to be said, right? Okay, so there are good married sex lives, bad married sex lives and awesome married sex lives. We’ll just look at the general things that happen to sex after marriage and see how the negative ones can be improved upon.
The thing is the first few years it seems everything is fine. Most married people say, “Everything is fine in the pre-dad and pre-kid stage.” If we go by this, it means that generally, before the kids come, sex life is great. While this may be true, it is also true that some couples do not need kids to get tired of each other. Give them sixteen months or even less, then they get tired of seeing each other every day and gradually lose interest in each other.
Now, let’s talk about married sex after the baby comes. It is common for women to gain weight and lose libido after pregnancy. This is one of the things that contribute to a bad married sex life. When the woman gets fat, she may relax and just keep getting fatter, slowly changing from the sexy hottie her husband fell in love and lust with, what follows is loss of sexual interest in her and then they drive all the energy into grooming the kids and enlarging the bank accounts. In the second case, the woman may work on her body and regain her sexy shape but for some inexplicable reason, she just doesn’t feel like getting some so she makes one excuse after the other until the hubby gives up on asking to get laid.
There are still those couples who may not have low libido or suffered weight gain or shape change, they just have routine sex and routine is boring, you know this. Maybe it is not the routine, it is not the kid and it is not the woman, maybe it’s the man who no longer sees the need to keep up that sexiness that made her fall head over heels for him. He develops a potbelly or as my little cousin calls it, “an Amusement park.” This is a turn off for some women and that’s how the issue begins.
Many factors can contribute to a boring sex life, but why dwell on the negative when there’s a positive side and we can do something to change the negative? A few things, which couples ignore, could actually turn their married sex lives around for the best. They often require little or no effort, just continuity and improvement. Let us look into them:
Most married couples do the Missionary style and that’s all. No foreplay, they just get her wet, get him erected, he goes in, he cums and it’s over. Sometimes, it happens with her wearing some grandmotherly nightdress. All he wants is to cum, he doesn’t care if she orgasms and on her part, she lies there like a log of wood with her legs open, looking forward to when he cums so that she can go to bed.
Did you know that oral sex, dildos, doggie style, hand jobs, fingering, lingerie and all those other things you enjoyed during dating and courtship are not forbidden after the honeymoon or after you say ”I do?” The only things that really changed are your marital status, spending limit and kids (if they’ve arrived yet). Don’t forget who you were and what gave you joy just because you're “married.”
Try different sex positions in different parts of the house, come back home during lunch break for a quickie, do it in the car in the garage while the kids are asleep, take a weekend to have fun n an exotic place. Live life so that life doesn’t leave you.
The worst thing to do after marriage is to take things for granted. You stop putting on skinny jeans and crop tops and start wearing what I would rather not talk about now. Your underwear changes from G-string panties and lace bras to mother care bras and grandma pants. You stop wearing those stilettos and wedges and start with the slip-ons and flat funny looking sandals. You stop shampooing regularly and let your hair get too oily and smelly. You drink so much beer and forget the road to the gym, you stop seeing the need to get your manicure and pedicure done, and the list could go on and on.
It is normal that after marriage, responsibilities increase, your energy level decreases and age sets in, but that does not mean that you should throw in the towel, keep up the sexiness as much as you can. Most marriages have survived on sex when the love was low; yeah the love level seems to fluctuate in marriages.
It’s okay if you do not feel up to it every now and then but it is not cool to just go with the flow because everyone feels that married sex is boring, dead, non-existent and the adjectives could go on, except for baby making purposes. Married sex is what you make of it, what’s yours gonna be?
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